Sitting in a diner in the middle of Nowheresville, USA, wasn't Daniel's idea of the perfect vacation. However, the food was palatable, the coffee was fresh, and from the way Flo was eyeballing him, she intended to make sure his mug was never empty. Underneath the ten pounds of makeup she wore, she was probably old enough to be his mother, which made her obvious interest in him rather disturbing. It was entirely possible she was the Flo for whom the diner had originally been named, and if so, that would put her age closer to "grandmother". Eyeballing the formidable short-order-cook-slash-waitress from the corner of his eye, he was half-afraid she was some sort of supernatural creature which kept itself alive by sacrificing the souls of hapless victims who wandered into her lair.
Either that or he'd been around Teal'c and Vala for far too long.
Speaking of the devils...
"—Should try for Ballard," Vala was saying, flipping through her copy of Close Encounters: An Encyclopedia of the Paranormal.
"What about Ballard?" Daniel asked, immediately suspicious. Good grief, was his grandfather's crystal skull incident listed in the book?
"It's in Utah," she answered. "There's a ranch near there which, according to the book, has a history of cow mutilations, strange lights, and all sorts of creepy goings-on."
"Oh." Would it be appropriate to breathe a sigh of relief?
"We should also seek out the Winchester House in San Jose, California," Teal'c suggested.
"Does it involve alleged alien encounters?" the dark-haired woman gasped, excitedly.
Teal'c arched an eyebrow. "No, but it is rumored to be haunted."
"Oh, ghosts! Well, if we're also going to be checking out creepy places, I suggest the Waverly Hills Sanatorium."
"I have heard of that, but is that not many kilometers to the east?"
"According to the article, it's in Louisville, Kentucky."
"It's pronounced 'loo-uh-ville', not 'loo-is-ville', and that's over a thousand miles from here!" Daniel protested.
Teal'c was unfazed by his protest. "We will drive in shifts, and make further use of our time by also visiting the Sutton Farm."
Daniel pinched his brow. "Dare I ask?"
"The site of an alleged incident with 'little green men'," Teal'c replied, a subtle smirk of amusement stealing over his face. "From the drawings and descriptions the Suttons made of the event, I would surmise they encountered several members of Yoda's species."
"Really?!" Vala exclaimed, flipping to the index of her book and muttering "Sutton, Sutton, Sutton" while she searched for the entry.
Daniel heaved a sigh. This wasn't how he'd intended to spend his week off. He'd been planning to get some long-overdue spring cleaning finished, catch up on the stack of magazines and journals that had been piling up on his coffee table, and had hoped to find time to fly to Seattle for an exhibit featuring a selection of pre-Clovis artifacts from across the Americas. Instead, he'd found himself awakened at four in the morning, his bag packed for him, and then bag, archaeologist, and a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee shoved in the backseat of a rented SUV.
While Teal'c and Vala were both cleared to travel freely around Colorado Springs, venturing more than one hundred miles from the SGC was still restricted, and required that they be accompanied by an employee of the SGC who was also a citizen of the United States. With Sam in Atlantis and Cam accompanying Amy Vandenburg to her family reunion in Pennsylvania, that left Daniel as the most obvious victim for the two alien members of SG-1 to rope into their tabloid-inspired road trip.
"How far is it to Clovis from here?" Daniel asked Flo, tuning out the chatter behind him of a "Bell witch" and a "Mantell incident".
"Only about a hundred mile or so," she answered cheerfully, leaning her meaty forearms on the counter. "I reckon you folks is searchin' out UFO encounters and the like?"
Daniel glanced over his shoulder. "Well, they are, I'm just along for the ride." He grinned. "I guess you could say I've been abducted by aliens."